Not my favorite day!

Spent the best part of my day sorting through my floral supplies & cleaning out the garage so Matt could use it to work on his car. Not the best plan when I started the day with shooting nerve pains that made me want to cry.  Needless to say after the cleaning & then sitting in Ashlee's cold basement for 2 hours, I'M IN AGONY.  This of course makes me a very cheerful & pleasant person to be around.  Top it all off with Matt inviting one of his friends over to help him work on his car tomorrow, and you can guess how congenial I am.

Tomorrow is my last real day off for who knows how long.  I really don't enjoy the valentines crush.  It's unpredictable, unpleasant, and generally oooky.  But I'm whining, so I'll shut up now.

The only fun thing in my day was a random photo edit binge I went on using a snapshot of Matt that I took during the cleaning.  It's plain ol silly, but was a good distraction for a few minutes.

 

Live Long & Prosper.

-m

Not too good, but not bad.

Thanks to my tweeked back that's punishing me for the long ride home from Arizona, this week has been pretty darn uneventful.  Monday I had to see the dentist for a filling, ended up calling off work for the day because after that all I was up for was sitting on the couch with a heat pack on my back/butt and an ice pack on my cheek.  All i can figure is that when they numbed my mouth with the shot they bumped something delicate that bled internally.  My whole cheek was red, puffy, and sore as hell for 3 days.  Yesterday the pain backed off, but then people started asking me what happened to my face...that's such a delightful thing to hear when you have no idea what they're talking about.  So to return Scott's favor from the desert I told them he hit me (that's what he told our friends after his sleep walking tumble).  Today it's just as colorful, but not really painful.

Work's been busy, and we're doing all kinds of prep for Valentines.  This afternoon Adda & I were working on an order together a customer who visits the shop often started laughing at us.  Apparently we sound a bit like sisters when we're bickering about how to get an order finished to Adda's approval.  Guess it's evidence of the acceptance and a bit of impatience on both sides.  Byron got pulled into the project and ended up taping his own mouth shut at one point.  Those of you who have spent any time at the Tulip Tree will have a delightful mental image of just how ridiculous & fun the whole project was with the three of us working together in our unique way.  We really are more like a family than most workplaces ever are.  Don't know how, or why it works that way.  But it's home for me & I'm glad to be there.

We're coming right up on the 1st annual Tulip Tree Fire Celebration day.  Not sure any of us knows exactly how to feel about it, but we are very happy with the shop as it is now compared to before.  So it must be worth everything we've gone through this year.

Oscar's helping me type, and I've got a party (one of the Tulip Tree family members) to get to in 10 minutes.  Happy Friday!
-m

Interupt

I'm doing this project for a friend and needed a place to share it so she can approve, since Scott's gone to bed, and I want her to be able to see it tomorrow this is the easiest way. 
Hope y'all don't mind.
-m

No appologies

On the 3rd to last day of our Quartzsite escape the hard drive of my laptop gave up for good.  Pretty much everything was on that drive...so I've been going through the stages of rage, panic, disgust, acceptance, & then thanks to Scotty & his college surplus super powers RECOVERY.  I think I came outa this one with a better personal computer than I started with, and probably we can turn my lappy (that's what Scott has called my laptop ever since I started packing nearly everywhere I go) into a still usable computer.  It's still upsetting that I've lost all the files, pictures, passwords, etc. that were stored on that machine, but I'm focusing on how wonderful it is to have contact with the world and most of my friends again.

My "new" computer is 6 years old from the college surplus, has a freaking huge flat monitor (pretty sure Scotty pulled some sort of strings for me) and does all of the things I want.  It even plays Dragon Age which I bought last year and couldn't get to run on lappy.


We had an amazing, relaxing, balancing, irreplaceable adventure in Quartzsite as always.  Love that place & those people.  Scott's shopping properties & building a spreadsheet to track when we can afford to retire...lol.  We always come home from there happy we went.

I also came home with a killer back twinge (too many hours in the truck), and a toothache (cracked filling, had it before I went but it started hurting).  So I've been limping, and screaming every time I have to get into my car for a week plus.  Dentist patched it up on Monday & I've been miserable since then with some sort of reaction to the numbing shot.  Spent most of yesterday with an ice pack on my face & a cheek too swollen to give Oscar kisses (that's all he wanted yesterday, not skritches, or beaker, or peek-boo).  It's better tonight, and my back's slowly getting back to normal too.

I've much more to say, but have several projects to get to before I can go to bed so I'm gonna sign off and hope to post again soon.

Bless.
-m

Relaxed!

I LOVE QUARTZSITE!  It's home, but better.  Woke up in the camper 2 nights ago with that comfy I know exactly where I am feeling.  It was AWESOME. Also it's helping me get past the absolutely annoying must keep frantic and look busy habit that I came home from the canyon.  AL&L and specifically Jim & Max Cook can go rot in HELL! Hate 'em,don't feel bad about it.

Don't feel bad about getting back to a place where I can enjoy something I love.
We've been here 2 days now,and I haven't done anything of particular usefulness.  It's great.  No demands on our time. When I wanted a nap today, I took one.  Didn't feel a bit bad, and felt a ton better afterward.

Tomorrow we're hoping to visit the vendors and hopefully find something shiny.
Also fried cheese curds :p

Night all! Gotta wander across the desert to my camper...hope he moon's back out.
-m

Scrubbing and Piling

Seems to be the theme of my life the last few days.  I've been cleaning and prepping and packing for our trip.  Funny how many things I've remembered and yet I'm absolutely certain that I will forget something essential.  I've unloaded a whole bunch of living stuff out of the camper to make it a camping camper again.  Upside of that is having less clutter and a lighter rig, downside is that on a 12 day camping trip you nearly need enough gear to live.  I'm currently debating the merits of packing nearly all of my clothes into the camper so that we don't have to find a laundromat halfway through.

Our buddy Kirk brought us a pile of firewood tonight...a somewhat dubious gift since he isn't certain that it's fully cured.  However, I never say no to firewood, and we'll enjoy burning it rather it's this winter or next.  I do love a good campfire, and when I can't have one of those a fire in the hearth is nearly as good.  Besides with a blazing purple bed of coals pretty much anything will burn.

I'm quite enjoying the prospect of campfires and desert.  I've ordered Anne of Green Gables from Netflix, loaded 3 novels into the camper bookshelf, and made sure my sketching stuff and camera are packed.  A week of real live vacation has me so delighted my toes wiggle just thinking about it.

Tomorrow I have to do the grocery shopping so I'd better go finish my list and print out what recipe's I need to take.  Then I'm gonna settle in for kitty snuggles and an episode or 2 of NCIS.

Live long and prosper.
-m

beyond the writers block!

Don't get too used to it, I'm still out of practice.

You'll notice my shiny new look.  My cute cousin Lyndie inspired me with her holiday themed blog.  Of course she has ton's of wedding and family photos to spruce up her blog, and I not only don't have those but wouldn't be allowed to use them even if I did.  Thank-you-kindly paranoia.  Oh well.  It's purply -blue-green and that makes me smile.

In reading my previous posts (something I've been far too guilty to do lately) I realized that I have a bit more news to post.  Not that it's super important, but those of you the keep up with me here will prolly appreciate the addition.

Our roommate is gone.  I told him that I needed the space for family to stay with me, and Scott changed the locks while I was in Logan.  The immense relief of once again being comfortable in our own home without someone coming and going at all hours and police possibly raiding our home to check on him is immense.  I have learned from this lesson and will never again let someone take advantage of my sympathy (I hope.  Helping is one thing, being USED is completely another.  It may have been a great situation for him (free place to stay, food, etc) but it was a major invasion and liability for us.  Too bad the worlds like it is.  Our only rule was that he show us the respect we gave him, and he proved from day one that he had no idea what that meant.

Anyhow, my home is once again my own, and I WILL NOT take that for granted ever again.
Kitties & Oscar like it better too.  Scott's doing a good job at not saying "I told you so".

I better log off and watch a few minutes of tv with Scott before he goes to bed.
Love one another.
-m

The Elves Are Busy

Here's one of my blog attempts from the week of Christmas when I was severely sleep deprived.  Please forgive it's brevity <3

It's so good to be back at work, and Oscar & I are both delighted to be back to quasi normal.  We're crazy busy & up to our elbows (literally) in pine sap.  Oscar has a strange fascination with juniper berries.  I'm really hoping they're not toxic for him, since I had to confiscate them twice today

I've had trouble finding the right words.

It wasn't at all my intent to neglect my blog, in fact I've put a lot of effort into several worthless entries that I didn't feel right about posting.  So I'm not apologizing.  But I'm crossing my fingers that this post falls from my fingertips in a pleasant manner so that I can finally post again....CUZ I'M FELLING HELLA-GUILTY.

Going north to be with my family for Grandpa's passing is one of the best decisions I've made.  I have no regrets about taking off in the middle of Monday to drive north.  It was the right thing to do, and there wasn't really a choice to make.  I knew when Grandma Jackie passed that I didn't need to be there and it's kinda bothered me that that choice was so clear.  But when Grandpa was moving on I just KNEW that I needed to be with my family...more for me than any usefulness I might be to them.

I was there in his house and was able to feel the environment of LOVE.  It's not the perfect word to describe the feeling in the house, but it's the best one I know because it's so all encompassing.  I stood in his room with cousins, aunts, uncles, and my mom for a few moments watching him stuggle for each breath and fight what was coming.

Grandpa's always been a strange example of faith for me.  He absolutely believed that there was something beyond this life, but didn't have the confidence/testimony of what exactly it was.  I think he really knew more spiritually than most souls.  He just didn't believe that he was educated enough or important enough to know exactly what it was.  He was a humble man, and often expressed his worries for the afterlife as "I hope...." he BELIEVED there was something, and that he didn't deserve to know what it was.  More often than not his faith was so absolute that it terrified him.  I'm taking great comfort in him KNOWING now exactly what's out there.  He's been HOPING Grandma was happy and comfortable for 4 years now.  Now I BELIEVE he's holding her hand and they're both smiling.  I also believe that my Dad was there to give him a hug and a pat on the back as he crossed over.

A few weeks ago when my aunt and uncle stopped by to check on Grandpa they found him dozing in his chair.  When he came awake and noticed they were there he said "Where'd Keith & Brian go?"  Keith is his brother and Brian's my dad...both of whom have passed on and are on the short list of people whom Grandpa would actually listen to and trust outright.  It's my belief that they stopped by to chat with him and help him prepare for his passing.

I'm using the word believe a lot in this post, and I don't want to open up a theological debate.  I rarely explain or justify my beliefs to anyone.  They are the most basic and personal foundations of my self.  I respect everyone's right to worship in the privacy of his own soul, and I expect the same.  So if my belief clashes or differs with yours, consider it my opinion and know I treasure diversity.  If we agree perhaps my sharing will help you recognize a truth you've also seen in your life.

So I was there in my Grandfather's home..surrounded by love, and acceptance, and most of the people who taught me to tease...when he gave up the battle and passed from this life.  My cousin Kim (a brave soul who's fighting her own battle with cancer) was holding his hand and saying goodbye so she could go home and suffer the after effects of the kemo she'd just received.  His breathing changed, he stopped fighting, and they called the rest of us back into the room.  Eric who has been Grandpa's shadow all of his life was on his way into the house as Grandpa was leaving it.  I don't know how to explain all the emotions I went through in that hour and the ones after it, and there were so many...so I'm just going to sum it up by saying: I am SO glad I was there.  It's the only place I should have been right then, and I have NO regrets.

The following week was full of a thousand details, and tears.  Not of sadness though.  Just of loss.  We all miss him so much, and he's been our tie to Grandma and their home for the last 4 years.  I think we're all grieving both of them a bit now.

We planned a Hillyard funeral, in our own style.  It was longer than Grandpa would have asked for, and none of us would trade the time and memories shared to make it shorter.  His daughters sang (backed by his granddaughters since we weren't sure who'd be busy bawling), all of his children shared a memory of their Dad, and most of his grandchildren shared a memory of Grandpa.  There wasn't a lot of preaching, but there was a lot of faith shared, and a lot of love remembered.  Also I'm pretty sure that I haven't heard the word shit referred to as a noun in a chapel ever  before.  The boys (grandsons) carried the his pine casket to a horse drawn hearse and Eric lead a horse wearing his saddle behind the hearse all the way to the cemetery.  After the praying was done we sang "Horsey horsey on your way we've been together..." as the hearse left.  It was one of those strange completely non traditional things that was perfect for the situation.

Since the funeral I'm back home and trying to get caught back up with life.  Mom came down Wednesday to do some shopping for USU.  We found the right fabric for her project and then somehow we talked ourselves into driving over to Park City in one of the worst snow storms of the year.  It was an adventure, and neither of us was really scared, but we prolly won't be doing that again any time soon.  She ended up staying at my house and driving home the next day.  We had a good visit that day too.  It's been a long time since we both had time to just spend with each other doing whatever we want.

Scott & I are gearing up for our annual Quartzsite trip.  Once again we'll be camping in the desert with some of our favorite people, campfires, conversation, low expectations, good food, and a New Christy Minstrels Concert.  Also a stop at the Fried Jalapeno Cheese Curd Cart.  Judy & I might do some bead/craft shopping too.

What with all the time away from work lately and our vacation looming, I'm finding that my budget isn't going at all like I'd like.  But I'm trying to ignore that.  I wouldn't trade a moment of the week I took off or the time with my mom.  Also we had the annual Cousin Shoppin trip in the midst of all the funeral plans.  It was the right thing to do, and I'll find a way to pay my bills somehow. Besides, who can be grumpy when they're leaving highs of 34 and snow forecast to go to highs in the 60's and a chance of sunshine?

Life's pretty good to me, and I'm loving where and who I am.
Hoping everyone finds joy and peace in the new year.
-m