Too Much to Think About!

Life's gets complicated very easily, and having your dear ones in the hospital only tangles, everything.

I'm not comfy sharing details, but Lynn can use all the good energy anyone can send her! She had a heart attack Friday night and that just adds another layer of complication to her recovery! Those who love me will add her to their prayers. I don't know what I'd do without her! We're all crossing our fingers and lending hope. Aunt Cherryl (I have no idea how she spells her name, but we LOVE her) flew in today. I believe she'll help Lynn's spirits greatly. They are THE example that makes me wish I wasn't an only child. Sisters looks like a very strong thing with them. I believe I can envy that. But mostly anything that makes Lynn feel better is golden. We're all waiting and hoping.

Once again I'm counting down the days I have with Royla. Against my fears I'm giving her back to the people who held her for a few days (she works at the gas station). Royla's been a different creature since she came back home (yes, it's an infinite guilt trip to know I did that to her). Her safe spot is a chair or my lap, but I saw that at their house she thought their bed was safe. Not just under but in it. That's how she was here before...I trust these folk, to watch and see and send her back if she's unhappy. It's terrifying. How do I send her to a new home and not feel like I'm turning her out into a cruel world? Las time I sent her to a good home (I thought) and she wound up scared, alone, and at risk. I HATE this. But these are good people who WANT her, so I'm taking a chance for her AND my peace of mind. I hope I can find a comfort zone with this, and I'm really gonna keep bugging these folks I'm affraid.

I discovered a HORRIBLE thing the other morning! I had been up all night with pain (yes unfortunately, that's normal) and decided to feed Oscar at 5:30 instead of getting up again at 7. For once I read the label of the bag I was reaching into, and realized I've been giving him dry/uncooked simmer (beans, seeds, peas, etc) food instead, which needs to be cooked instead of his healthy seed food (sunflower, pumpikin, etc) for a month now. Poor baby. He's still been excited for 'BREAKFAST' every morning. Poor baby, needless to say I found the right bag *much fuller than it should be* and he got an extra dose. Not that he's not still spoiled, but I feel BAD.

Work has been crazy, in a wonderful way. I do what I love, help people who make me smile, and generally have a good time. Also I get paid for it. Not much, but enough to pay the bills. It's a good life. Also I get to help set the rules and can take on whatever projects I'm comfortable tackling. I love it.

Tonight we had a nasty encounter. I think I gave Scott a connsusion. There is no end to the guilt! We both headed to bed, I gathered up my computer turned off the living room lights, he went to tuck in his office, I filled my water bottle and headed to bed...halfway up the hallway I hit a solid wall of...well Scott...who I knocked down amidst thumps and grumbles. Poor man, I rather ineptly tackled him. Cracked his head on the door frame, and I'm gonna wake him up in an hour to make sure he's not dead. Awful wife! Make me the name tag, I'll wear it. There's no end to the guilt!

I'm exhausted and still have miles to go before sleep. Perhaps it might be easier to just stay up nad catch a nap tomorrow evening. Nah, not with my luck.

Rest and be well. Keep those whom I love in your hearts!
-m

Quick check in!

We're all ok, healing, coping, and "not" aging. Oscar's grounded, Kitties are copacetic. And I'm no more insane than usual. There have been good and bad adventures this week, and we've all survived. I'll post more details soon.

Hope you all had a fabulous Friday the 13th!
-m

Amputation!!! All the cool kids are doing it!

Looks like the Brown family will have yet another cool kid. Lynn's in the hospital tonight, and tomorrow they'll tell us how much of her foot she gets to keep. It's a pretty common event for diabetics, but not a ton of fun when it's happening to you. I sure wish she didn't have to deal with this. Her boys are doing a good job of supporting her and holding things together. They're a good team. Danny's taking care of her pack (brave man). I'm mostly standing around twiddling my thumbs. But I love her dearly and wouldn't be anywhere else.

Top that off with our driver at Tulip Tree finding a better job, and it all equals a pretty high stress week for me. But hey, I'll get to hang out with the cool kids, so who cares right?

Thursday is not the birthday of anyone who lives at my house and only has to wear one shoe. Also no one is turning 40. Just in case anyone wondered. Scott's going to go celebrate with his mom (she agrees about her little boy NOT topping the hill).

I however have big plans for Thursday, I'm having dinner with friends from jr. high. I was gonna feel bad about missing out on the big 40, until it got canceled. So now I'm just excited.

Am I a bad wife for not making a big deal out of this and throwing him a party? I know a big deal isn't his style, but a man only gets to be 40 once. I suppose I'd rather be a bad wife for not throwing a party than to be divorced.

I've had the oddest dreams lately, re-arranging furniture, shoe shopping, really odd. I so very much hope I'm NOT sleep walking during them! Chris found one of my bite guards while digging a trench in the back yard last week. HOW ON EARTH DID IT GET THERE?!? I only wear my bite guards to sleep. Therefore they should always be where I put them when I wake up, right? NOPE, I've misplaced several now (that's not the most appropriate word, but "woke up without and had no memory of removing" is such a long phrase).

It's late, and I suspect tomorrow is going to be a much longer day than anyone wishes for. I'll post more details about Lynn's surgery soon. Keep her in your prayers and thoughts. She's got some hard days ahead of her.

If you get back what you give, then why do the good folks always get ripped off?
-m

*cough* HACK grrrrrrrrr.

I love my job, I love the people I work with, I love their dedication and mentality...but I don't love that they come to work even when they're sick. Cuz then we ALL get sick. I don't like being sick. Just not one of the things I enjoy sharing. Sorry. But I guess as complaints go that one's minor.

But I spent an hour tonight chasing Oscar around the neighborhood (yep it's wing trimming time again!!!!) and calling his name the whole time while loosing my voice and coughing. I'm more than a little GRUMPY! But it didn't kill me, so it must have made me stronger.

I have to take a second to tell y'all about this awesome new friend I have. His name is Chris, and he's like no other teenager I've ever known, except for Jamie maybe...Anyhow he's awesome. He works odd jobs at Tulip Tree and we all adore him there, but he's also done a few jobs here at home for Scott & I. He also helped me chase idiot bird for an hour tonight. He's just a good kid. So from here on in you might hear a bit about Chris, cuz I'm keepin' him.

We've been busy, Scott works on Shedzilla every chance he gets. Thanks to Chris' help there is electricity! & Kirk's offered to help him put up siding. It's entirely possible that before weather flies we'll have a finished product. I'm more busy than I like to be, and can't keep track of what I'm doing with my time...why is that? Work, home, cooking, cleaning (when possible), and then as much sleep as I can find.

We had a good time Friday at the annual Halloween party. Randy and Ashlee always make it memorable, and this year was no exception. They introduced us to a new food addiction "Kolaches" they're like calzones/bagels/sandwiches...hard to explain, but YUMMY. I neglected to get photos of our costumes, but they were awesome. The theme was Redneck/White Trash, so we mostly just went as ourselves.

Just in case you haven't heard, Scott has decide that he isn't having a birthday next week. 40 is just not an option for him, so he's skipping it. Guess we'll have to send his presents back and throw away the party favors. Poor baby, I keep telling him he's only as old as he feels, but he must not believe me.

I suppose it's time for me to start thinking about christmas shopping...oh dear. I love giving gifts, but less and less enjoy the shopping process. Seems like that ought to be a shame.
Amazon here I come!!!!

y'all keep smilin & shufflin!
-m