Seriously! Why do I do that to me!

Seriously why'd I say things happen for a reason (I know I always say that, and I understand now why people want to hit me).

Today felt futile! Thank goodness I bothered my mom before I went out into the world. She always reminds me that someone thinks I'm special.

Please don't translate the following as me complaining, I'm mostly trying to motivate myself into changing how I do things. No use being frustrated.

I got my sites cleaned and started the weed whacking. Then wrote my list of supplies I use (as requested) and went to the meeting. I was the ONLY one who wrote the list (got the feeling I was the only one asked)...so it felt like I was complaining...I WASN'T.

Really all I needed was a working headlight (I'm in trouble for taking things apart to find the problem, don't necessarily blame them and won't do it again), ear plugs, firewood (to sell), and the right color of time cards (in trouble for filling out the color they gave me). I want to be pissed at myself for not anticipating that, cuz I usually know when I'm getting myself into trouble...but didn't see it coming.

Oh well.

Today just sucked. But I did motivate the canyon to try a different radio channel (one we used last year) and YAY we can actually hear each other! Also I spotted the a cow moose on my way home (bigger concern than her male counterparts). So maybe I wasn't a total pain.

Fran called me (bless her) and I remembered that sometimes I'm useful and important. Also this job is something I do because I LIKE it...

I really miss her, and visiting was very AWESOME. I understand now why so many people call her just to talk. Being away has made it more than clear how much I love the Tulip Tree. Things there are rarely simple, but as long as the job gets done no one is miserable. I really hope they miss me as much as I miss them.

I have fun stories of Spazzy's time on the porch to share, but lack the patience to write them down.

Happier thoughts soon I promise!
-m