A visit with Dad.

So those of you who know me well know that every now & then I get to visit with my Dad.  It's rarer lately than it used to be.  I don't know if it's happening less often, or if I just don't need to remember it as much.  But today was a very clear vivid situation & I'm going to take a moment to share.

Today turned out to be high stress for me.  I turned in the "official" workplace incident form for my black ice incident this morning & was immediately packed off to the workers comp doc by risk management.  Spent 2 hours waiting there for the one doctor on duty to see me.  She basically backed up my claim which isn't what risk management wanted to hear so they snapped my head off when I called them as requested after the visit.  It's not exactly my personality to snap back, but this lady was unpleasant when I was trying to be professional.  I know it's her job to keep the college from getting sued, but if there had been proper snow/ice management then I wouldn't be in severe pain right now & my recovery from surgery wouldn't be set back several weeks & I wouldn't have to pack around Lynn's walker.  But water under the bridge, it does no good to be upset I just need to accept what is & move on.

Anyhow, after I got home tonight I ate my lunch/dinner with Oscar (he really likes sesame chicken with rice & broccoli) took some pain meds & a muscle relaxer, and laid down to sleep for a couple hours in hopes of the pain backing off.  Scott promised to wake me up up before too long so I could get my hair washed and some laundry done before bed time.  While I was asleep I must have strayed into deep rem sleep because I found myself standing on the edge of a red sandstone bluff looking down at the breakaway anchored in a familiar cove.  The scrap book I kept as a teen was in my hands, and I was looking at memories (none that I remember scrapping, just that the book was a way of mentally displaying the memories).  Looking down at the boat I knew that if I walked down there dad would be sitting on the front deck in his favorite green tshirt & watching the morning sun on the water.  I walked down there, enjoying the quiet & peace of the memory & when I stepped up to the railing there he was.  Mom was there next to him asleep & we just sat together for a bit. Can't remember exactly what we said, but I remember he kept patting my hand & patting mom's shoulder as she slept.  I suddnely knew that Scott was coming to wake me up and I would have to go soon.  I didn't want to leave but had a strong impression that I could come back and find him there again soon.  I turned to dad and said "I'm sleeping now."  He nodded his head to mom & said "So is she."  & then my dear husband woke me up as promised.  It was so nice to just sit with  Dad in the quiet & think about nothing.  I know that was the whole point of the visit.  To find some calm when I desperately needed it.  & I woke up with tears running down my face, but so much more at peace in my core than I have been for a while.

I know that everyone who reads this will interpret this description in their own way & don't seek to convert or preach anything.  I simply wanted to share a beautiful moment of calm & love with those of you who might need it as much as I did.  I really hope I get to go back soon and spend a few more moments sitting with my dad enjoying just being.

Live long & prosper.
~m